my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
