just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
