you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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