at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
