Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
