Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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