I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
