Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
