Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
