Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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