we have officially lost it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My feet surprised me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
