Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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