jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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