great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
