College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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