i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Don't make out with my wife yet
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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