I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she told me i tasted like america
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
