I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize