don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
