They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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