It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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