Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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