you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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