When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
