He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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