I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
