Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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