Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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