Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize