We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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