then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
