Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
