btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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