did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My vagina just recognized that song.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
