I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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