Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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