If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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