remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize