We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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