haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I puked a lego.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
