Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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