today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
