I love black thongs
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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