Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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