The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
