I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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