somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
