Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
