I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
