I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
