I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
