Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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