HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
