well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize