I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
