why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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