She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
