I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
nutella sex= disaster
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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