Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
