sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
