I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
