the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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