Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
