You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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